Funny Names for My Period

From Shark Week to Aunt Flo, we've all got our own code name for “menstrual period.” Here are a few of the best.

Maybe it's because mentioning one's menstrual cycle was seen as offensive for most of the past century, but a whole host of code names for “on my period” have developed over the years. Sure you can just say, “It's that time,” or “I'm feeling ill,” but when you really want to get your message across, try one of these.

The Tried and True - these are your mother's euphemisms.

  • Getting a visit from Aunt Flo – Get it, “flow?” Get it guys?
  • On the rag – This one is entirely literal, as it means you're wearing menstrual rags. You know, back when women wore menstrual rags.
  • A gift from Mother Nature – Mother nature was clearly not shopping from the registry.
  • Moon time – A tasteful way to let people know the tides are coming in.

The Biblical - periods have been around as long as human kind, so it only makes sense we'd have some ancient references.

  • Summoning Satan/ Offering a Sacrifice – Maybe it's the popularity of shows like Supernatural that deal in summoning demons, but there seems to be an increase in describing menstruation as offering a blood sacrifice.
  • Parting the Red Sea. Since we're going with the story of Moses, I never understood why this wasn't a reference to the Nile river turning to blood.
  • The Curse. This isn't just because periods can be painful. It's actually a reference to the biblical curse placed on Eve. The more you know…
  • Visiting the red tent – A reference to the literal red tent where women waited out their period in biblical times. At least today we've got Netflix.

Pop Culture Inspired - Who knew the effect movies and TV would have on the way we talk about periods?

  • I feel like Carrie – Is this referencing the shower scene where she first gets her period, or scene at the end when her white dress is soaked in blood?
  • Crimson Tide – It's not about a submarine anymore.
  • Red Wedding – For the months when it brings nothing but blood and heartache.
  • Shark Week – Better not go wading in the open ocean, just to be safe.
  • There will be blood – I suppose I should announce this the night before?
  • Red Rum – Once you've seen it, you can never forget the image of the doors opening and hundreds of gallons of blood spilling out.

And All The Rest - These were just too good to leave off the list.

  • Leak Week – Simple and concise. What more could you ask for?
  • The pipes are broken – The shorter version of “Oh no, put a bucket under it so it doesn't stain the carpet!”
  • The communists are coming – When the Red party decides to make itself known.
  • Strolling down the red carpet – It kind of makes you sound like a star, doesn't it?
  • I'm at the end of my sentence – Bonus points for a groan-worthy pun.

What's your favorite way to let others know that your “lady time” has arrived?

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